My focus this year has been on expanding. Expanding in the sense of taking my foundation, those things that I have mastered and moving out from them as a means of growth. Unfurling and working my way forward gently. I like to picture myself in the center of a spiral, venturing out in a closely knit circular line all attached to a source, a center a purpose. Expanding cohesively, gradually and in this gently pushing myself to knew levels.
This weekend I ran the Ikea Half Marathon. I have run it once before, just a few weeks out from my bike accident last year. I took it easy then, as I wasn't sure how my sprained shoulder would react to the persistent pounding. I went out conservatively and found at the end I had plenty of juice left. I crossed the finish line with a spring in my step, a smile on my face, and the feeling that while I could have done better, getting back to racing successfully was way more than enough.
This year I ran the race with my running buddy Jess and approached it feeling differently than I have about any other major race. I didn't feel nervous. I didn't feel connected to the exiting and adrenaline producing atmosphere of race day but rather approached it as a utilitarian exercise. I have not run a distance race since the marathon, and I had not diligently prepared for this race. Sure, I have kept up my mileage, worked on speed, ate a well balanced meal the night before, I did not feel wholly unprepared yet it had not been my focus.
I wasn't sure how things would turn out out but I trusted I could complete the distance. I knew that much. Slogging through the last miles of the marathon where every step made a current of pain run through me let me know that 13 miles, no matter what, would be doable.
We started out downhill, the day was slight bit chilly but not cold, overcast but with the sun peeking through a few dusky grey clouds. Perfect for a race of some distance. As we began I felt a surge of joy, being there, being a part of a packe, doing sothing as elemental as putting one foot in front of the other as fast as we could go within reason it felt lovely, right. Racing brings with it a sense of civility married to an animal drive. We compete as well as bolseter each other, we look at the fastest runners with a sense of awe and encouragement no matter where we fall in the pack. We all come to this place to be a part of somethign as well as to run our own race.
I ran the race just a bit outside of my comfort zone and had very little left in me by the last three miles. I made it through -- finishing in a very respectable 1:50, just under a personal record.
I worry sometimes about setting high expectations for myself. Goals like qualifying for Boston seem so out of reach, I make tiny strides but the progress seems so slow. It is not easy to get faster, to endure longer, to push myself beyond my comfort zone. When I look back on where I started from I am amazed at how far and how fast I came -- it is and has been hard work but it always felt so simple, so natural, or perhaps I remember it that way only because this moment of striving and reaching further seems so hard. Still at the heart of it all, I believe I can make it further that I can get faster, that expansion happens not all at once, but slowly with hard work, dedication, and love. Patience, openess, and showing up will get me to the next level, nothing more, nothing less. I am right where I need to be.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Transitions
Fall returns and with it chillier nights, falling leaves, and for me, a return to distance running. This summer I completed four 5k's, and feel well on my way to my goal of minute off my time from 2008. The curse is still with me around Run Around the Square, I came down with a pretty nasty cold a few days before the race, again running it just to finish as I have in years past. I'm beginning to believe I should never plan to run RATS fast something in the universe is telling me to slow it down. Still, it was great to be out there with some many folks, and to have my own little cheering crew. Running a race by myself is not something I shy away from, but having people there running it and watching does make a difference.
One thing that the summer brought was the addition of dedicated speed work to my weekly routine -- one of my least favorite running related activities, but one of the most beneficial to improving my overall strength and performance. Each week my running buddy and I meet up at the track, and run all out for various (short) distances, jogging between each to recover. It is never easy but there is some satisfaction to be gleaned from completing each leg and not collapsing into an anaerobic heap. There's something subtly exciting about the feel of lactic acid building in the legs, pushing past the point of no return.
I feel like my life is in the midst of some pretty big transitions, even though it may not seem so on the surface. My old way of doing things is no longer working for me, what once was comfortable and easy no longer seems that way. I remind myself that what seems hard now can be the gateway to greater strength, that through challenge and struggle we can access a potential we could not begin to dream of previously.
One thing that the summer brought was the addition of dedicated speed work to my weekly routine -- one of my least favorite running related activities, but one of the most beneficial to improving my overall strength and performance. Each week my running buddy and I meet up at the track, and run all out for various (short) distances, jogging between each to recover. It is never easy but there is some satisfaction to be gleaned from completing each leg and not collapsing into an anaerobic heap. There's something subtly exciting about the feel of lactic acid building in the legs, pushing past the point of no return.
I feel like my life is in the midst of some pretty big transitions, even though it may not seem so on the surface. My old way of doing things is no longer working for me, what once was comfortable and easy no longer seems that way. I remind myself that what seems hard now can be the gateway to greater strength, that through challenge and struggle we can access a potential we could not begin to dream of previously.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Black Eyed Susans
August brings with it a heady humidity, the sounds of crickets of the night, and the beginning of an earlier nightfall. It's a heavy month drawing summer to a close, contrasting with the lightness of Spring, August is the culmination of growth, wildflowers, tomatoes, corn, all offered up in the fading light.
Running in August proves challenging, in terms of heat and humidity. It calls for short distance and not the long hauls of early spring, fall, and winter, yet even at a short distance I can find myself dehydrated, spent.
Last week I started to increase my overall mileage with my sights set on the Ikea Half Marathon a few weeks into September. I have been working on my speed pretty consistently but have been missing the distance, so I decided to work some more miles into my routine. This hasn't come easy, especially with the demands of speed work and steps. I continue though, because I know I will adapt, I know sooner rather than later I will be gliding along 13.1 miles and be glad for the work of it now. Sometimes when I push myself beyond my limits of tolerance, beyond what's comfortable the world comes into a brighter focus. The pop of a black eyed susan along the path, the brilliant yellow against a see of faded out greens and browns reminds me for all the pain, fatigue, struggle there is and will always be beauty and strength within and without.
Running in August proves challenging, in terms of heat and humidity. It calls for short distance and not the long hauls of early spring, fall, and winter, yet even at a short distance I can find myself dehydrated, spent.
Last week I started to increase my overall mileage with my sights set on the Ikea Half Marathon a few weeks into September. I have been working on my speed pretty consistently but have been missing the distance, so I decided to work some more miles into my routine. This hasn't come easy, especially with the demands of speed work and steps. I continue though, because I know I will adapt, I know sooner rather than later I will be gliding along 13.1 miles and be glad for the work of it now. Sometimes when I push myself beyond my limits of tolerance, beyond what's comfortable the world comes into a brighter focus. The pop of a black eyed susan along the path, the brilliant yellow against a see of faded out greens and browns reminds me for all the pain, fatigue, struggle there is and will always be beauty and strength within and without.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Small Steps
The process of change, of strengthening and quickening is an interesting animal. Perhaps animal is the wrong word -- what I mean is that it's rarely a linear progression from point a to point b. You get out there, log the miles, tough out a hard speed workout and some days you still seem to be going backwards, and some days it feels completely effortless.
This past weekend I ran the Run for Roch, which was a challenging, hilly 5k in scenic Mt. Washington. I haven't been up to Mt. Washington in ages -- the view really is spectacular, and it was wonderful to start and end things overlooking the city. I pushed through all the hills, despite the feeling that I was going to puke after mile one, and almost stopping to walk on the daunting McArdle ascent and made it through ok. I came in at a respectable 24:04 -- which for me is a personal record.
Still, the progress I am making feels like it's moving at snails pace. Even though speed isn't strong suit I struggle with my internal brat who throws a fit that increasing my speed isn't easier -- even though it hasn't been long since I began this shift in focus. It helps to put thing in perspective, it helps to realize that we don't always have big, long gains, that their is no perfect end result, that sometimes frustration is as vital a part of the training process as success. If this was easy, it would be easy and not as worthwhile of a pursuit. So I will stay here, and continue my work even when it feels futile, even when there are a million things I'd rather be doing, when I feel like I'm moving backwards instead of forwards. I do it because the choice is between staying static or growing, and I choose growth, no matter how messy the process.
This past weekend I ran the Run for Roch, which was a challenging, hilly 5k in scenic Mt. Washington. I haven't been up to Mt. Washington in ages -- the view really is spectacular, and it was wonderful to start and end things overlooking the city. I pushed through all the hills, despite the feeling that I was going to puke after mile one, and almost stopping to walk on the daunting McArdle ascent and made it through ok. I came in at a respectable 24:04 -- which for me is a personal record.
Still, the progress I am making feels like it's moving at snails pace. Even though speed isn't strong suit I struggle with my internal brat who throws a fit that increasing my speed isn't easier -- even though it hasn't been long since I began this shift in focus. It helps to put thing in perspective, it helps to realize that we don't always have big, long gains, that their is no perfect end result, that sometimes frustration is as vital a part of the training process as success. If this was easy, it would be easy and not as worthwhile of a pursuit. So I will stay here, and continue my work even when it feels futile, even when there are a million things I'd rather be doing, when I feel like I'm moving backwards instead of forwards. I do it because the choice is between staying static or growing, and I choose growth, no matter how messy the process.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Ascending
A couple of months ago, in an attempt to train up for the Rachel Carson challenge I started climbing the stairs in the University of Pittsburgh's Cathedral of Learning. Apparently this is a popular activity for athletes of all strips, particularly in the winter months when Pittsburgh's weather ravages even the most hardy.
For those who aren't familiar the Cathedral of Learning is a gothic cathedral on Pitt's campus that houses classrooms, labs, and the like, 42 stories of fun:
Now, suffice to say the summer is not the most popular month for stair climbers, the building offers little ventilation and the conditions outside beg even the most sedentary to come out and play. Still, there is something that calls to be about the steps, the challenge of 36 flights, the sense of accomplishment when I get to the top, the sweat proliferation, perhaps a bit of pure insanity. Needless to say I, along with several like minded partners in crime, have made it a Wednesday night standing plan. While it's tough, and not the most convenient, I can feel myself getting stronger week after week.
Besides the physical, this workout has had an effect on my psyche as well, with elevators and stairs making almost nightly appearances in my dreams. I believe it's one of those situations where the act of ascending stairs connects me to a more ethereal form of ascension or growth. The practice of going up, step by step, until I reach the top and returning to the bottom just to ascend again serves as a moving meditation. Bringing myself to the Cathedral, week after week forges a connection between my body and spirit, the literal manifestation of bringing myself to a place of ascension.
For those who aren't familiar the Cathedral of Learning is a gothic cathedral on Pitt's campus that houses classrooms, labs, and the like, 42 stories of fun:
Now, suffice to say the summer is not the most popular month for stair climbers, the building offers little ventilation and the conditions outside beg even the most sedentary to come out and play. Still, there is something that calls to be about the steps, the challenge of 36 flights, the sense of accomplishment when I get to the top, the sweat proliferation, perhaps a bit of pure insanity. Needless to say I, along with several like minded partners in crime, have made it a Wednesday night standing plan. While it's tough, and not the most convenient, I can feel myself getting stronger week after week.
Besides the physical, this workout has had an effect on my psyche as well, with elevators and stairs making almost nightly appearances in my dreams. I believe it's one of those situations where the act of ascending stairs connects me to a more ethereal form of ascension or growth. The practice of going up, step by step, until I reach the top and returning to the bottom just to ascend again serves as a moving meditation. Bringing myself to the Cathedral, week after week forges a connection between my body and spirit, the literal manifestation of bringing myself to a place of ascension.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Summer of Speed
Though I seldom sit still I am far from speedy. Constant motion is a part of my nature, blame it on being high strung, high metabolism, an unnatural zest for life --- whatever and no matter what I can attribute it to to it is there. It's one of the reasons running comes so naturally, as a way to channel this energy and exhaust myself to a comfortable resting point. I run relatively quickly for someone of my stature but I am by no means a sprinter. Not only am I not built for it in a physical sense, my mind and will have followed suit. I just don't like to run fast.
After a successful marathon and months upon months of training I took some time off. I still run and am running, but am far from logging 30+ mile weeks. Rest is a vital part of any training program and a necessary part of the cycle. Summer being the season of the 5k, I gravitated towards running these shorter races, not out of any propensity for running them but rather out of the desire to be among my 'people'. I love the excitement of race day or evening, the nerves, the first steps into the groove, the volunteers enthusiastically handing out paper cups of water, the last push at the end, the kitschy door prizes - it all makes it worth the torment of running short and fast.
For some reason pushing myself to my limit endurance wise is an entirely different animal then pushing myself to my limit speed wise, and I'm not sure why that is, it just is. Yet, I know that as in most pursuits, the practice you most avoid is often the one that you most need, that will push you to the next level. So this summer, I have decided to focus on my speed, with the goal of shaving a minute off of my 5k PR. It's been slow going (hah!) , or slow on the uptake, one of the reasons I am writing here in an attempt to keep myself honest. Here's to a speedy rest of the summer.
After a successful marathon and months upon months of training I took some time off. I still run and am running, but am far from logging 30+ mile weeks. Rest is a vital part of any training program and a necessary part of the cycle. Summer being the season of the 5k, I gravitated towards running these shorter races, not out of any propensity for running them but rather out of the desire to be among my 'people'. I love the excitement of race day or evening, the nerves, the first steps into the groove, the volunteers enthusiastically handing out paper cups of water, the last push at the end, the kitschy door prizes - it all makes it worth the torment of running short and fast.
For some reason pushing myself to my limit endurance wise is an entirely different animal then pushing myself to my limit speed wise, and I'm not sure why that is, it just is. Yet, I know that as in most pursuits, the practice you most avoid is often the one that you most need, that will push you to the next level. So this summer, I have decided to focus on my speed, with the goal of shaving a minute off of my 5k PR. It's been slow going (hah!) , or slow on the uptake, one of the reasons I am writing here in an attempt to keep myself honest. Here's to a speedy rest of the summer.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Diversifying
I have been away from this blog for a bit, due in part to an increased workload and in part to a break from all things running. Sometimes it's good to just take a break, rest, and regroup, and that's what I've been doing for the past month.
Coming off this marathon free of injury, it took me a lot less time to get back on the trail (or the road as the case may be). I have been logging runs of an hour or less, getting back in touch with what makes me want to run in the first place -- drops of dew resting on my eyelashes during an early morning run, the feeling of strength after a fast burst, and simply the time alone with my thoughts.
I am planning to do the Rachel Carson challenge next weekend, which is 34 miles of the Rachel Carson trail in one day. It sold out this year before I registered, so I am planning to try for stand by and hope I get in. I feel somewhat unprepared for this endeavor, I know I have the endurance but worry about my overall strength, especially when it comes to extreme uphill and downhill climbs. I started climbing the stairs at the Cathedral of Learning in preparation, which is quite the workout. I also have been trying to get out on my bike more often, in addition to the actual training hikes.
So I am planning to take the challenge as it comes, and use it as a springboard for my next endeavor. The warmth of summer brings so many possibilities, long days, sunshine, and hours to melt by the side of the pool. I plan to squeeze as much as I can from these heady, fleeting months, and come out stronger than ever.
Coming off this marathon free of injury, it took me a lot less time to get back on the trail (or the road as the case may be). I have been logging runs of an hour or less, getting back in touch with what makes me want to run in the first place -- drops of dew resting on my eyelashes during an early morning run, the feeling of strength after a fast burst, and simply the time alone with my thoughts.
I am planning to do the Rachel Carson challenge next weekend, which is 34 miles of the Rachel Carson trail in one day. It sold out this year before I registered, so I am planning to try for stand by and hope I get in. I feel somewhat unprepared for this endeavor, I know I have the endurance but worry about my overall strength, especially when it comes to extreme uphill and downhill climbs. I started climbing the stairs at the Cathedral of Learning in preparation, which is quite the workout. I also have been trying to get out on my bike more often, in addition to the actual training hikes.
So I am planning to take the challenge as it comes, and use it as a springboard for my next endeavor. The warmth of summer brings so many possibilities, long days, sunshine, and hours to melt by the side of the pool. I plan to squeeze as much as I can from these heady, fleeting months, and come out stronger than ever.
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