Equinoxing

I feel as though the past few weeks have been a struggle, through fatigue, changes to routine -- I felt like the whole world was out enjoying the weather change and I was stuck in my 'hard times' mentality. Sure, outside the birds are chirping, the sun is glinting off Lake Elizabeth, all the snow has melted and folks are walking around with smiles on their faces, but I am sooooooooooo tired those smiles just seem to mock me.

Ever so slowly, following a return to normal nights sleep I noticed a bit of a change. Walking to work without all those layers, well that certainly felt nice. A longer stretch of daylight, the way the warmth of the sun eases my muscles, the familiar smells of earth, rain, and new growth. Slowly I felt a smile start to creep onto my face, naturally extending from the joy of a new beginning. Things began to feel more manageable. Last nights thunderstorm lulled me into a deep sleep, easing my tiredness and putting me right with world around me instead of at odds.

Just as the Winter comes after the Fall, Spring arrives after a long, cold, difficult winter. Every year. Despite my efforts to resist its easy charms, Spring is here. I'm not sure what it says about me that I hold to the difficult, almost treasure it - perhaps it's an underdog mentality nurtured by my surroundings. Pittsburgh is an underdog city if there ever was one, and as the youngest sibling I always feel a sense of living in someone else's shadow. The coming change of seasons is a good reminder that I don't always have to fight to win. The sunshine comes just the same as the cold, no matter how bleak things look, how fatigued we get, how much effort we put forth the halcyon days return eventually. I remind myself to enjoy it all, embrace the easy and relaxing fortify myself with the knowledge that rebirth and new growth will always happen.